White Saviors Flock To Save Children In Baltimore

VoluntourismBmore_WP6Baltimore’s voluntourism sector is booming, thanks to the white saviors who are flocking to Baltimore to help the underprivileged children attending public school there. 

Free-spirited voluntourists have altruistically sacrificed their life-changing trips to “real” third-world countries so they can “make a difference” in one of America’s most depressing cities.

“I was disappointed,” said Amanda, a white savior from New Jersey who will be volunteering in Baltimore public schools over her spring break. “I really wanted to go see actual starving mud-hut children in Africa, but my parents told me the flight was too expensive and booked me a Greyhound to Baltimore instead.”

Though disappointed, Amanda has decided to respond to her parents’ request with grace. “As long as I can take one selfie with a starving black baby, I’m fine with not going to an exotic location,” she told us.

Baltimore frigid schools.jpg_9882779_ver1.0_640_360
Voluntourists get to cuddle with children who wait for the government to start giving a shit.

Other parents of budding white saviors are not as keen to send their kids to Baltimore. “The African Americans just aren’t as worthy as the starving African Africans,” one dad told us, noting that the children just need to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps, even if they don’t have any.”

White saviors who have participated in the programs say the lack of language barrier made them feel uncomfortable. “I could hear the kids saying mean things about me,” said Robbie, a young man who taught a third-grade class in Baltimore for two days before running away in tears.

Although Robbie “definitely” doesn’t want to return to Baltimore, he still says the trip was life-changing and that he would recommend it to anyone who needs an eye-opening experience. “It really made me grateful for everything I have,” he said as he sat down for a warm meal with his family.

On a more serious note, you can make a donation to stop Baltimore students from freezing to death in their classrooms by clicking here

Author: The Pulp Press

Pithy reportage with no basis

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