Local authorities are pleased to announce that, though “traumatizing” and “pretty gross,” the bloodbath found in a public ladies’ restroom was not caused by a transgender murderer but rather a slightly embarrassed cis woman who spilled her Mooncup contents on the floor. The accident has several male lawmakers debating whether or not the insertion and removal of menstrual cups should be legal in ladies’ restrooms.
Though the culprit has come forward to confess, she refuses to apologize, claiming that she “couldn’t help it,” and “didn’t have time to clean it up.”
The news has sparked concern among male legislators in Washington who worry that the benefits of menstrual cups do not outweigh the drawbacks. Now, the male lawmakers are considering implementing a law that bans the insertion and removal of Mooncups in public ladies’ bathrooms.
“My wife and daughters shouldn’t have to risk seeing pools of blood every time they use a restroom. It’s disgusting, and it’s unnatural,” said Female Anatomy Expert/R-Senator, Marco Rubio, before vehemently denying that he or anyone in his family has ever had a period.
Others argue that periods are very natural and that women who use Mooncups should be applauded for utilizing eco-friendly period collection methods. To protest, they urge women to send their used sanitary products to the following address:
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW,
Washington, DC 20500