June 21-July 22

Stop sleeping around. You’re making everyone’s pubes itch.

Cancer

Stop sleeping around. You’re making everyone’s pubes itch.

Ever wondered what’s behind your lack of employment and friendships? Walking sideways with a home-made paper-mâché shell on isn’t funny. Nobody thinks it’s cool and quite frankly it’s really fucking annoying.

Get a new gimmick that will actually compensate for your incredibly bland personality.

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