October 23-November 21

Scorpio

Venus is deep in the mounds of Viagrus this astrological period. This signifies pound town for you. Go get some, it’s time to sow your wild oats. Throw your body around like you stole it; burn that rubber, and screw yourself into oblivion. New relations are afoot, get some. If you’re lucky, you’ll lay a bunch of eggs. Your number is 69.

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