Should You Be Offended If A Dog Doesn’t Sniff Your Crotch? Experts Say “Duh” – Here’s How You Can Redeem Yourself

Should You Be Offended If A Dog Doesn't Sniff Your Crotch? Experts say 'Duh.'

Oh, doggies! They are our best friends; we love them, and they love us, too. With that said, things can get a bit awkward sometimes, especially when it comes to the tradition of crotch-sniffing (or lack thereof).

Lots of humans don’t realize this, but when a dog walks away from an opportunity to sniff your crotch, that’s their way of telling you that you’re super boring down there. And even fewer humans realize that dogs are actually trying to ostracize you when they don’t smell your crotch.

We reached out to dog-whispering veterinarian Dr. Klein to find out just how offended you should be if a dog doesn’t sniff your crotch, and her answer was honestly pretty brutal. But luckily, she also gave us some really great advice so you never have to be offended by a dog ignoring your crotch scent again!

“It’s basically the canine way of saying, ‘You really need to spice things up a bit down there.'”

According to dog-whispering veterinarian Dr. Klein, crotch-sniffing is a very important cultural custom for our canine pals. “When a dog sniffs your crotch, they are essentially scoping you out to see if your nethers smell interesting enough to be of use to them and their social circle,” She tells us. “When a dog doesn’t sniff your crotch – well, it’s basically the canine way of saying, ‘You really need to spice things up down there.'” Dr. Klein adds.

So, should you feel offended if a dog doesn’t sniff your crotch? The answer is brutal but simple: “Duh,” says Dr. Klein.

What can you do about it?

Fortunately, there are several ways to make your nether region smell more interesting, and dogs have really sensitive noses, so it doesn’t require a lot of effort. And it’s totally possible to make your crotch smell more interesting without spending any money, so that’s a plus!

1. Wear the same pair of unwashed underwear whenever you know you’ll see a dog

According to Dr. Klein, this is the most simple piece of advice to follow. “Just have that one pair of underwear that you only wear if you think you’ll encounter a dog, and never wash it.” The smell of your crotch will become more and more appealing each time you put them on.

2. Rub a juicy steak all over your groin

One way to make your crotch smell more interesting is to rub a juicy steak on your groin for about 15 to 20 minutes every day.

3. Stop using toilet paper

Okay, so your anus might get really itchy, but dogs adore the smell of shit, so it’s worth it. You might lose a few human friends, but at least every dog will be intrigued by you.

Most importantly, be confident in who you are

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Whether or not you try out Dr. Klein’s advice, one thing is certain: You need to be confident in yourself. A dog might think your crotch is boring, but that doesn’t mean that you are boring. In fact, you are probably really cool, and that dog doesn’t need to feel the same way for it to be true.

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SPOOKY – These Brutally Honest Drawings Show What’s Wrong With Today’s World

Art doesn’t just exist for our pleasure; art is a medium of self-expression – it’s a way for creative people to share their perspective with the world.

Garie Luyendyk, Jr., a brilliant artist from the Netherlands, wanted to share his perspective on the modern way of life. And he did so by creating a series of paintings that show what he thinks is wrong with the modern world we live in.

Luyendyk did a great job. His brutally honest series of paintings illustrates exactly what is wrong with modern society. Luyendyk’s work is beyond profound and even a bit ominous.

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GRITTY – This Award-Winning Street Photographer Can Only Take Pictures Of Homeless People

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Ava Greer is talented enough to take pictures of anyone or anything in the world, but it’s physically impossible for her to take photos of anyone except homeless people! Poor girl! Luckily, she’s finding solace on Instagram and Facebook support groups for other street photographers with similar problems.

According to Ava, she is physically incapable of pressing the shutter button unless there’s a homeless person somewhere in the frame. “It’s like my body shuts down, and if the subject isn’t homeless, I literally cannot take their photo!”

But it wasn’t always like this, she says. “I’ve been doing photography since high school. At that time, I had never even seen a homeless person up close before.” Back in those days, Ava mostly took pictures of her friends and family, cashiers, mailmen, babies, and some still life.

“Then, I left home and traveled to loads of different cities for six months. When I got back, I looked at my thousands of photos and realized that only 20 of them were not of homeless people.”

According to Ava, she took all 20 of those photos on the first day of her travels. “The rest were all pictures of homeless people – thousands of photos of them. Nothing and nobody else,” she remembers. “As soon as I noticed, I rushed out the door to take pictures of people who were not homeless, but I couldn’t. I physically couldn’t do it.”

It’s been two years since then, and Ava’s problem still hasn’t improved, but she’s coping by participating in online support groups for street photographers who are unable to take pictures of anyone but homeless people. “There are actually a lot of people like me on Instagram, and I’m also a member of loads of street photography groups on Facebook, and we inspire each other to keep going.”

 

Jennifer Feels So Much Better Now Because The Random Guy Who Just Tickled Her Nips Is Obviously Gay

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Jennifer almost lost her shit this afternoon when some random dude reached out of nowhere and playfully titillated her nips for a good few seconds before disappearing back into a crowd of people. “I looked at my friend Courtney like, ‘What the fuck? Who just did that?’ But Court didn’t see it happen, and I thought we’d never find out who did it. It was really scary, and I was about to get really pissed off.”

Fortunately, the man popped back out from the crowd and confessed to pinching Jennifer’s nipples before identifying himself as a gay male. “He was like, ‘Oh, don’t worry, honey. I mean, look at me – I’m as gay as a jay and not even attracted to you.’ I immediately felt relieved because, if he was a straight guy, that would have been sexual assault. But it’s always nice to have gay men pop out of nowhere and fondle my nipples.”

“Jennifer is probably the luckiest girl in the world,” friend Courtney chimes in. “That sense of relief she experienced when she found out the guy wasn’t even into her – I really thought that whoever did it was head over heels attracted to her. I’m super jealous of her good luck.”

This Woman Built A Second Home In Her Living Room 100% Out Of Amazon Boxes – The Results Are Amazing

Tired of Amazon boxes turning her minimalist lifestyle into an absolute cluster fuck, Sadie Jacobs turned them into a second home in her living room. The results prove that it’s totally possible to live the minimalist dream, even if your house is littered with packaging. You can take a mini-tour of her new pad in the slideshow at the bottom of the page. 

It often seems as though 21st Century minimalism is nothing more than an unattainable fantasy. You read all those blogs that make reduction seem so easy, but those people clearly have more time on their hands than you do. On the one hand, it’s great that companies like Amazon make it so easy to fit your excessive shopping needs into your busy schedule. On the other hand, when you do purchase all the necessary furniture, coffee table books, house plants, etcetera, you just end up with a junkyard of packaging in your living room.

Sadie Jacobs knew this pain all too well. “It got so bad that the recycling people just stopped coming by my house,” said Sadie, a recently-converted minimalist slash outside-the-box thinker. Luckily, Sadie came up with a more creative (and simple) idea than any she had seen on Pinterest. “I just decided, ‘hey, you know what? I’m just gonna make the most out of this mess and build a second minimalist home in my living room.'”

Her new home-within-a-home doesn’t have any plumbing or electricity, but that’s fine. “It’s really just so relieving to be able to escape from all of the complexities that exist outside of my Amazon boxes. It’s changed my life. I can’t recommend it enough!”

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Another Desperate Man Wonders Why He Never Gets Catcalled

Another desperate man wonders why he never gets catcalled

Washington, D.C. – A man’s confidence has plummeted due to the daily lack of unwanted attention he receives from women. Now, a “nimbus of self-doubt” hovers over Roger Belcher when he roams the public sphere, and it “pours anxiety” over him once the thought of stepping outside even enters his mind.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Am I ugly? Am I boring? Am I not worthy of acknowledgment?” Roger asks himself these questions every day – and he’s not alone.

Man Cannot Understand Why He Never Gets Catcalled

As more awareness is brought to the matter of catcalling, an increasing number of men between the ages of 13 and 99 are feeling dehumanized by the realization that female passersby never make uninvited sexual comments about their bodies.

To ease the pain, experts suggest repeating phrases of self-love in the mirror every day before stepping outside to persuade themselves that they are worthy of female attention.

“If men convince themselves that they really are decent human beings, they will eventually feel more confident,” said Dr. Edith Cockburn, a psychiatrist at George Washington Universiy. According to Dr. Cockburn, even simple phrases such as “I look great today,” “I’m a shining star,” and “I am loveable,” will make a big difference.