Wow! This Mother’s Poem To Her Son Will Make You Wet Yourself

To my son,

I first met you 25 years ago,

When you were just an innocent piece of flesh.

Still, I am the only person who will ever love you.

Since then, I have watched you grow

From an incompetent infant into an incapable young man.

Still, I am the only person who will ever be proud of you.

As a baby, your skin had a refreshing glow

Which has since turned to pus, lumps, and stubble.

Still, I am the only person who will ever want to look at you.

Love,

Your mother

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STUDY: Boarding School Alumni Have The Highest Prison Satisfaction Rates

A study of female inmates suggests those who attended boarding school are better equipped for prison life than inmates who attended day school.

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A study of female inmates suggests those who went to boarding school are better equipped for prison life than those who attended a day school.

A total of 390 female inmates who had attended either a boarding or day school until graduation were asked to rate their satisfaction regarding various aspects of prison life.

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“Prison is just like my boarding school, but with more poor people.”

The results suggest that female inmates who went to boarding school feel at home in the confined and restricted atmosphere of prisons. The food, visiting hours, scheduled obligations, and isolation give former boarding students warm, fuzzy feelings of nostalgia.

However, boarding school graduates are not always popular with their fellow inmates. “They are really fucking annoying and ignorant, but it’s a good idea to hang around them if you need stuff from the commissary.”

Here is a visual representation of the data:

 

 

 

 

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The results of this study clearly show that college preparatory boarding schools also function as prison preparatory schools. But there is certainly room for improvement; boarding schools can help their students achieve higher prison success and popularity scores by teaching more empathy and self-awareness.