Should You Be Offended If A Dog Doesn’t Sniff Your Crotch? Experts Say “Duh” – Here’s How You Can Redeem Yourself

Should You Be Offended If A Dog Doesn't Sniff Your Crotch? Experts say 'Duh.'

Oh, doggies! They are our best friends; we love them, and they love us, too. With that said, things can get a bit awkward sometimes, especially when it comes to the tradition of crotch-sniffing (or lack thereof).

Lots of humans don’t realize this, but when a dog walks away from an opportunity to sniff your crotch, that’s their way of telling you that you’re super boring down there. And even fewer humans realize that dogs are actually trying to ostracize you when they don’t smell your crotch.

We reached out to dog-whispering veterinarian Dr. Klein to find out just how offended you should be if a dog doesn’t sniff your crotch, and her answer was honestly pretty brutal. But luckily, she also gave us some really great advice so you never have to be offended by a dog ignoring your crotch scent again!

“It’s basically the canine way of saying, ‘You really need to spice things up a bit down there.'”

According to dog-whispering veterinarian Dr. Klein, crotch-sniffing is a very important cultural custom for our canine pals. “When a dog sniffs your crotch, they are essentially scoping you out to see if your nethers smell interesting enough to be of use to them and their social circle,” She tells us. “When a dog doesn’t sniff your crotch – well, it’s basically the canine way of saying, ‘You really need to spice things up down there.'” Dr. Klein adds.

So, should you feel offended if a dog doesn’t sniff your crotch? The answer is brutal but simple: “Duh,” says Dr. Klein.

What can you do about it?

Fortunately, there are several ways to make your nether region smell more interesting, and dogs have really sensitive noses, so it doesn’t require a lot of effort. And it’s totally possible to make your crotch smell more interesting without spending any money, so that’s a plus!

1. Wear the same pair of unwashed underwear whenever you know you’ll see a dog

According to Dr. Klein, this is the most simple piece of advice to follow. “Just have that one pair of underwear that you only wear if you think you’ll encounter a dog, and never wash it.” The smell of your crotch will become more and more appealing each time you put them on.

2. Rub a juicy steak all over your groin

One way to make your crotch smell more interesting is to rub a juicy steak on your groin for about 15 to 20 minutes every day.

3. Stop using toilet paper

Okay, so your anus might get really itchy, but dogs adore the smell of shit, so it’s worth it. You might lose a few human friends, but at least every dog will be intrigued by you.

Most importantly, be confident in who you are

theme-candid-portraits-smile-woman-girl-40064.jpeg

Whether or not you try out Dr. Klein’s advice, one thing is certain: You need to be confident in yourself. A dog might think your crotch is boring, but that doesn’t mean that you are boring. In fact, you are probably really cool, and that dog doesn’t need to feel the same way for it to be true.

GRITTY – This Award-Winning Street Photographer Can Only Take Pictures Of Homeless People

pexels-photo-731788.jpeg

Ava Greer is talented enough to take pictures of anyone or anything in the world, but it’s physically impossible for her to take photos of anyone except homeless people! Poor girl! Luckily, she’s finding solace on Instagram and Facebook support groups for other street photographers with similar problems.

According to Ava, she is physically incapable of pressing the shutter button unless there’s a homeless person somewhere in the frame. “It’s like my body shuts down, and if the subject isn’t homeless, I literally cannot take their photo!”

But it wasn’t always like this, she says. “I’ve been doing photography since high school. At that time, I had never even seen a homeless person up close before.” Back in those days, Ava mostly took pictures of her friends and family, cashiers, mailmen, babies, and some still life.

“Then, I left home and traveled to loads of different cities for six months. When I got back, I looked at my thousands of photos and realized that only 20 of them were not of homeless people.”

According to Ava, she took all 20 of those photos on the first day of her travels. “The rest were all pictures of homeless people – thousands of photos of them. Nothing and nobody else,” she remembers. “As soon as I noticed, I rushed out the door to take pictures of people who were not homeless, but I couldn’t. I physically couldn’t do it.”

It’s been two years since then, and Ava’s problem still hasn’t improved, but she’s coping by participating in online support groups for street photographers who are unable to take pictures of anyone but homeless people. “There are actually a lot of people like me on Instagram, and I’m also a member of loads of street photography groups on Facebook, and we inspire each other to keep going.”

 

7 Signs That Your Boyfriend Is 100% Hubby Material

Okay, let’s be honest. The world is crawling with so many guys that it’s almost impossible to distinguish the keepers from the duds. You can try finding the right guy through trial and error, or you can read about how to find the best partner by looking it up online, but you only have so much free time in your busy schedule!!

Luckily, I’ve dated/had sex with almost every grown man on earth, so I can literally speak for anyone who might be reading!!

So, ladies, here is what you should be looking for in your man (Gentlemen, take note!):

1. When you’re feeling nauseous, he holds your hair and encourages you to vomit on him and not in the toilet

pexels-photo-206544.jpeg

If he wants to be drenched in your essence and comfort you at the same time, he’s definitely a keeper.

2. He’s super attracted to your pheromones even though you literally just shoved a dead rat up your vagina

download

Okay, maybe it was a dead mouse, but whatever. If you have a dead animal up your snatch and he still says he’s attracted to you, hang on to him, he’s got to be a good catch!

3. He tells you you’re beautiful even though your makeup sucks and you’re wearing that hideous pair of sweatpants that his super hot ex-girlfriend left behind when she dumped him

normalmash

Okay, so his ex may have left a few too many broken pieces for you to glue back together, but at least he doesn’t admit that they looked better on her, right?

4. Whenever you’re apart, he doesn’t just send you pictures of his own penis, but of all of his friends’ dicks as well.

pexels-photo-407237.jpeg

If your boyfriend is going to be your future hubby, he should already be sending you a minimum of five dick pics per day and only one of them should be of his penis, which is just enough to make sure you don’t forget how much he cares about you.

5. He makes sure his foreskin is cut (or not cut) just the way you like it.

Circumcision_illustration

If he’s got a foreskin but you prefer it sans, he should immediately conduct a search for the nearest scalpel (or medical professional).

If he’s uncircumcised, no problem; if your guy really is a keeper, he’ll gladly perform a skin graft on himself. Hopefully, he keeps a spare foreskin stashed in his sock drawer with his needle and thread.

Extra points:
  • He lets you hold the scalpel

6. You don’t need to take birth control because his sperm count is abnormally low.

Semen_030.jpg

Extra points:
  • He’s a genius chemist and he injects a homemade contraceptive serum into his thigh every night before he goes to bed.

7. He might be more in love with your period than with you

7 Signs Your Boyfriend Is A Real Man And Husband Material

He loves your period so much that he begs you to let him insert your tampons for you.

Extra points:
  • His favorite brand is O.B., but when push comes to shove he’s still better at using a cardboard applicator than you are!